The Patriotic Rush Continues

As I established yesterday, The Billy Blog loves America, and was pretty pleased to hear that Osama bin Laden was brought to justice.  I was also pretty surprised to find out that apparently quite a sizable portion of the US feels the same way, so much to the point of actually going out and celebrating.  I think that may be a little over the top, but hey, to each his own; if that's how it hit you, then that's how it hit you.  I think that walks the fine line between lauding justice and vengefully celebrating the death of a human, but again, it was a very emotion-provoking event, and if it strikes you to celebrate in the streets, then so be it.  At least you're not rioting in the streets and killing random strangers because some douche bag half a world away set fire to a book.

When the news broke out, it was a little crazy for me. My brother (the Ragin' Man!) texted me to turn on the news. As I was on the computer and was too lazy to go into a room with a television, I did a quick news search, and found out that the president was going to have a news conference on an unknown topic, which is highly unusual. My first thought was that all this turmoil in the Middle East finally turned nuclear. Why hadn't I started stockpiling survival resources like I had planned?!? So I ran to a TV and flipped through the cable news channels until I found Geraldo Rivera on FOX proclaiming Usama bin Laden (I’ve noticed that FOX has sometimes used this spelling since all the way back in September of 2001) had been killed, and how happy that made Geraldo. Well gee, Geraldo, don’t try to sugar coat it or anything!

THEY did all the hard work, but I feel like I was along for the ride

So that was met with both relief (WW3 will have to wait!) as well as a startling sense of accomplishment - I felt like I was somehow with the SEAL team that capped Osama!  Look at that, America - you can do what you set out to do, even if it takes a long time!  It also reminded me of the feelings from 9/11, and seeing all the celebrations brought back how the atrociousness of the 9/11 attacks brought America together - and I feel that togetherness once again!

And let me not forget - a big kudos to the US intelligence personnel, and a gracious thanks to our armed forces, especially the guys who took out the trash.  It's not often that our intelligence community gets to celebrate its successes (generally, we only hear when they fail), and I am so thankful for the military, doing all the hard work and putting themselves in harm's way for my sake.  One hell of a job, and thank you so much.

Now for a few thoughts –

Was killing bin Laden necessary? Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how much you really hated the guy), yes, I think that America just had to do it. Consider the alternatives –

We capture him, he escapes. Back to square one.

We capture him, now what do we do with him? While we’re trying to decide, guess what suddenly became the #1 target for suicide bombers and other forms of terrorist blackmail?

OK, we’ve captured him, and we’ve decided to put him on trial. What if he hires Johnnie “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit” Cochran as his attorney? (I realize he’s dead, but work with me here) Great, now not only would bin Laden have masterminded 9/11, but a jury of morons acquits him, and he gets off scot free!

My father always used to jokingly question the wisdom of letting your dependents know just how much life insurance you were carrying, saying, “I always make sure I’m worth more alive than I am dead!” Capturing Osama bin Laden and keeping him alive for any length of time would have been a huge liability to the US, and executing him after any period of captivity would have been even worse. I’m sure that some will see him as such regardless, but taking him into custody and executing him (with or without a trial) would definitely solidify his position as a martyr.

Plus, you also have the vengeance factor. Don’t mess with the US, or we’ll shoot you in the face. Even if it takes ten years.

This is why you don't F with the US!

What about the decision for a burial at sea? Eh, sounds good to me.

I personally would like to have tossed it in a small pen full of randy hogs, and televised the hilarity that would ensue. Then let said hogs snack. Then let said hogs defecate. Then take it all and grind it up into sausage links and ship it to the Taliban, COD. But, that’s just the part of me that wants to send a message to all wanna-be-terrorists out there – not only will we find you and shoot you in the face, but we’ll return savagery with savagery and desecrate your remains such that all memories of you will involve comparison to a jumbo stadium dog. But I can see how that would be insensitive (don’t care) and would incite retaliation against the US (do care).

I also know that should the US have kept (or, admitted to keeping) his body, that would have also been a great target for reprisals or attacks. “Hey! Anyone else who wants to come with us, we’re going to suicide bomb the infidels until they return the great martyr’s remains! Who’s with me?!?!?” Yes, I acknowledge that there are still terrorists out there who will try to harm us, but terrorism can be more directed when it has a specific, tangible goal as opposed to terrorism just because you hate the west.

That doesn’t even take into consideration the final resting place – can you imagine if the US actually buried bin Laden somewhere on US soil? It would have to be guarded against a crusade to recover the body as well as guarded against those who might want to desecrate the remains. How would you feel about your tax dollars going to fund protection for Osama bin Laden’s body???

Besides, what do you do when you go out and eat some particularly spicy food that just tears you up inside – do you try to get revenge on the poo? No, you just flush the shit right down the drain and forget all about it.

So yes, all things considered, I’m perfectly OK with tossing the body off an aircraft carrier. Just make sure it’s weighted down, and wrapped in bacon.

bin Laden's burial shroud

Who's the liberal pussy now???

How about the president on this one? I have to admit, if you would have said to me two months ago that President Obama pretty much signed Osama’s death warrant, I would have laughed at you because it doesn’t fit into his “apologize to the world for being America” approach to foreign policy.  But there you have it, Obama showed me (and the rest of the world) that he does, in fact, have the intestinal fortitude to make the hard decisions.  I guess this means that Hilary Clinton's "3AM Phone Call" attack ad was wrong!

Of course, you still have your liberal douche-nozzle pantywaists who are complaining that this attack was carried out on sovereign soil without the knowledge of that nation. You know what? Tough noogies. It’s pretty painfully obvious that no matter how corrupt Pakistan is and/or how much it pretends to be our ally, if they’re harboring terrorists (especially the big cheese!), then we have a right to act. Besides, one definition of “sovereignty” is “having supreme, independent authority over a territory,” and if we have to go in and lay down the law, I would say that perhaps they’re just a third world thugocracy instead of a sovereign nation. So suck it Pakistan, and suck it left wing complainers. If we get the bad rap for being world police anyway, we might as well at least reap the benefits.

Then you have your arch-conservative nut-job crybabies who look to find fault in anything remotely connected to Obama. Did he assassinate bin Laden for a boost in the polls? Yes, that’s exactly what he did. He’s so devious that he took the life of another human for a bump in the polls . . . six months after the last general election, and eighteen months out from his own re-election opportunity. Brilliant! Now maybe if you stopped griping about all the moronic stuff, everyone else would listen a little more closely when you had something serious to complain about.

And finally, you have your talking head media-types who are somehow trying to use this as another furious circle-jerk opportunity over how much better Obama is than Bush was. “Oh, George Bush didn’t have Osama killed? I didn’t know that! Thanks for reminding me, Lawrence O’Donnell!!! I guess I won’t vote for him the next time he’s running for president!” PS, take Chris Matthews’ dick out of your mouth, you filthy whore.

I can't decide which he loves more - Obama, or the cock?

And so there you have it.  I know there are some other conspiracy nuts out there who are saying that it all never happened, and the body was supposedly dumped so nobody would know the truth, but whatever.  You can't please everybody.  I don't care; justice has been served.