Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Dear God, I hate people on Facebook

So it looks like a short post today, mostly because I'm trying out how to win the lottery and get to keep my food stamps:

$2M Michigan lottery winner defends use of food stamps

But until I can figure out how to best make fun of that guy, I'll make fun of this-

We all like Facebook, I'm sure (or hate it, whatever; it's all the same), but doesn't it provide the forum to make you wonder just how some people are able to function in their daily lives?  I mean, I've worked in retail banking, so I've seen stupid people at their stupidest, but I am continually amazed at just how stupid people can be.  Take, for instance, the following post (which I was only able to see because a friend responded to someone else's post - I would never friend someone this monumentally moronic, even for Restaurant City ingredients):

A little background first - apparently someone out there in Facebook land (the victim) got cheated on, and then posted on Facebook complaining because the cheater also got to keep the Jeep that the victim paid for.  Sure, that sucks, and isn't that why Facebook was invented, to air your relationship grievances to your tight-knit circle of 660+ friends across the globe?  Of course, most normal people realize that a) it sucks when someone cheats on you, and b) it sucks even more when the cheater keeps your Jeep, so the original post was followed by a deluge of posts proclaiming the cheater to be (among other things) a bitch, and so family has to step in to defend family (by posting - isn't Facebook great??). . .which leads to this masterpiece:

(warning: profane idiocy to follow)
"i dont like that yall disrespectin my sister callin her bitches an i aint finna sit here an let yall keep disrespectin her. yall tha bitches fa bein in (name) an (other name) buisness i dont give ah fuck if you family or not. we aint never disrespected (name) by callin her out her name YALL BITCHES need to move tha fuck around cause if i see anybody else call her ah bitch its gone be problems. Ima come down there an beat some bitches ass"
(/profane idiocy) 

Obviously, I edited the two names in the post, and that's it.  I'm thankful for copy & paste, because I would be physically unable to type such trash without actually taking the time to unlearn years of grammar, spelling, and the muscle memory of typing with proper spelling and grammar.  I don't like to think of myself as a grammar nazi (I'm really more of a grammar snob, if anything), but it amazes me that any computer anywhere would even allow such a post without instantly turning into a Terminator and killing John Connor to put mankind out of its misery.

"its gone be problems"

Has this person ever read?  Anything?  EVER?  Could someone please point me to one instance where the word "finna" is used in anything that has actual pages?  Perhaps somewhere near "tha," as well?  I must have missed that spelling test in grade school.  That could have been the same day where we learned that "ah" is the accepted demonstrative form of the article "a."  I can see people using shortcuts to speed up typing (like when you shorten "I'm gonna" into "Ima"), but what are you proving when you add letters to the shortest word in the English language???  Let's face it, it's just horribly inefficient, "ah" takes 100% more letters to type than "a"!!!

So there you have it, that's my rant for the day.  I mean, "tha" day.  Why are people so stupid?  We ain't never disrespected nobody!


  1. indeed i think this person doesnt even know how to read

  2. lol arnold usually gets a rough cut .-.

  3. some people think acting silly is acting cool, but as they say, ignorance is bliss.

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  4. As a sometimes troll on facebook I must say that I read posts like that and laugh.

    I like the article you posted because most people see that and just feel angry at the system rather than expecting their legislators to change the system. I'm one of the only people I know who says "Well, you got by us this time" and feels angry at the guy for a year, and after that I get mad at my representatives because they refuse to change the law for some reason. The reason our founders allowed for Congress to meet and vote was so they could constantly update the law, they didn't just pass all the laws and then just put in place a President and judiciary to enforce and interpret.

    This is another case of needing to close the loopholes:

  5. I still wonder why I use facebook myself.

  6. Thats one real mean stingy man.

  7. I usually have someone hidden or blocked well before I have to endure such an assault on my sense of grammatical propriety.