LOL, I heard that for the first time today, and for the rest of my life, every fourth of May, I will tell everyone. But yes, happy Star Wars day!
How can you not like Star Wars? "I'm not a sci-fi geek!" Well, you don't have to be a sci-fi geek to like Star Wars. Granted, it helps, but it is not required!
In fact, you could just be a really chubby guy who has a penchant for bad tattoos.
Seriously, who told this guy that this was a good idea? Surely his girlfriend who would have tried to stop him. . .LOL
OK, surely he has friends who would have advised him against this. . .
Alright, which unethical bastard of a tattoo artist profited off of this atrocity? He probably graciously accepted a tip, too.
And so now, to honor this Star Wars day, I present to you a few points about Star Wars that you may not have noticed, or you may not have cared to notice.
#1 Han shot first. He did; I'm sorry, George Lucas, no matter how badly you want to change the past, you can't erase everyone's memory - you're not that powerful (yet). For those of you who don't know but want to know, Google "Han shot first." The original (before all the remakes) film went something like this:
. . .except Greedo didn't shoot. Could this mean that Princess Leia fell in love with a murderer?
Speaking of Princess Leia,
#2 Incest is wrong. . .unless you have the power of the force?
|I know the Bible says to love your neighbor, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't say anything about your twin sister.|
#3 Apparently the rebel alliance is racist. Why else wouldn't Chewie have gotten a medal? All the white guys did!
Poor Chewie. Maybe Leia gave him a more personalized reward:
She really gets around!
#4 How does Han Solo, Captain of the Millennium Falcon, not know what the hell a parsec is??? You can retcon it all you want, but deep down, you know I'm right. I don't want to be, but I am.
#5 I guess George Lucas wasn't satisfied with the amount of Hayden Christensen (and his bad acting) in the prequels, but did he have to include him in Return of the Jedi???
#6 Jar-Jar Binks?? REALLY???
For the love of God, George Lucas, how could you have been brilliant enough to dream up Star Wars, yet dumb enough to include Jar-Jar Binks? I mean, the Ewoks were cute and fun, and they beat the hell out of the Imperial garrison, but come on! He even said "Ex-squeeze me." Did he just get done watching Wayne's World? "Ex-squeeze me? Bacon powder?"
But again, I really love me some Star Wars. I can only pick on it so much because I've seen so much of it. Happy Star Wars Day to all of you! May the fourth be with you!
|It's true. You can try, but you will fail.|