Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Reflections on the week that was

Hey all, sorry for the lack of posts. The wife is in the process of hatching our first child, and for a short while, it seemed like he was gonna come a bit too soon, so she was on bed rest and I, therefore, had significantly less time to devote to my true passion, The Billy Blog. I’m sure you all missed my witty criticism of the world, so here’s what we missed:

“Macho Man” Randy Savage passed away at the age of 58.
Ooooh, yeah!
Slim Jims - cause of death, or cause of life?
 Well, I guess I shouldn’t just say “passed away;” in true Macho Man flair, he suffered a major heart attack while driving, and subsequently crashed his Jeep into a tree. I have to admit, the news of his death really hit me in that odd way where you don’t realize how big a fan you were of someone famous until you realize they are no more. It shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did; the human body can only survive a diet of Slim Jims and anabolic steroids for so long, but I was still deeply saddened. Perhaps it’s because with the Macho Man’s passing, a bit of my childhood passed away as well. I loved going to the video store and renting the old wrestling movies (you see, my family didn’t believe in investing in that cable TV fad until after I went off to college, so those old videos were the only way I could get my WWF fix), and the highlight of them all were WrestleManias 1-5. Macho Man stole the show in WrestleMania III (along with Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat), won the WWF Championship in a tournament at WrestleMania IV, and played Scottie Pippen to Hulk Hogan’s Michael Jordan through ‘til WrestleMania V, where he dropped the title to the Hulkster. Along the way, the Macho Man’s jealousy over Miss Elizabeth taught us that women are property over which for men to feud (and drop flying elbows from the top turnbuckle), and that if it’s true love, she probably won’t mind if you slap her around a little. So I offer a hearty “thank you,” Macho Man, for the years of entertainment you have provided.

The world didn’t actually end on May 21.

Who's a douchebag?
Despite Harold Camping’s calculations and predictions (which he should be good at, since he’s got practice – he previously pronounced the world would end Sept. 7, 1994), Judgment Day didn’t quite pan out, at least not like he initially proclaimed. I know that I wasn’t raptured, and I’m fairly certain that if anyone is raptured, it’s gonna be me, so I can logically conclude that nobody was raptured. I didn’t really think it was going to happen (at least, not on that date, like he said), but then again, I’m not sure he did either – his radio station made sure to keep their licensing valid through 2012. So how did Harold Camping respond to the end of the world not ending the world? I guess now Judgment Day has become Judgment-Five-Months – according to Camping himself, “We didn’t see any difference, but God brought Judgment Day to bear upon the whole world. The whole world is under Judgment day and it will continue right up until October 21, 2011, and by that time the whole world will be destroyed.” I guess maybe May 21 was Judgment Day, and October 21 will be Sentencing Day?

The US loves Israel, we're just not in love with Israel.  Baby, it's not you, it's us.  Barack Obama really screwed over Israel. OK, really, no matter how you feel about Israel, just look at the relationship dynamic – we’ve traditionally been Israel’s ally, and on the eve of Netanyahu’s visit, not only does the President of the US announce that we're bailing on them, he does so without any  advance notice.  Even I never broke up with anyone with such insensitivity.  It does make me wonder, though, if Obama is serious about returning to historic borders:

Is this next on the agenda?

So there you have it; that's all I can remember from this past week.  Right now, the wife is doing fine (and so I have a little more free time), so hopefully I can return to a more regular schedule.  Stay classy, San Diego!


  1. I guess you haven't seen the news that it was Macho Man who ascended to heaven to laid the beat down on Jesus' return in order to prevent the Rapture.

  2. Also, perhaps you can work out some deal so that your kid is the reincarnation of the Macho Man?

  3. Good luck with your first kid. Hope all is well.

  4. sounds like he made your childhood very pleasant

  5. sux that the macho man died in such a crappy turn of events =(

  6. You got me again! I'm glad everything is going good with the kid and the wife, and I totally agree with the loss of the Macho Man. I remember how awesome he was when we were kids. I took exception with your explanation of the Israeli-American alliance. I wrote a blog about it. Hope you'll have time enough to read it and comment.