For the sake of argument here, let’s say you are in a position where you would have to choose only one movie to watch for the rest of your life. We’re not talking about a situation where some deranged psychopath is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to choose which movie you’d want to watch for the rest of your life. Let’s face it, that situation is unreal; is that guy really gonna hold the gun to your head for the rest of your life, forcing you to watch this movie over and over and over? No, he’ll have to go to the bathroom at some point in time, and that’s when you can make a break for it. Besides, I’m not saying you’ll have to watch this movie continually for the rest of your life; you’ll just not be able to watch any other movies.
Think of it more like you’re working on a cargo boat shipping TV/DVD combos and solar power electric generators, and the ship is in a terrible wreck; after a harrowing escape, you black out and wake up on a deserted tropical island with one TV/DVD combo and a solar power electric generator, both sealed in waterproof containers! (Boy, those manufacturers spending a little extra on packaging really paid off in this instance, huh?)
Upon further inspection of the island, you find its one unnatural feature to be a Redbox of infinite capacity (with every movie title ever made inside), but you only have one dollar on your debit card, so you can only get one movie! Let’s face it; we all know you’re not going to return the movie the next day because you’re a thieving bastard. Also in that vein, you thieving bastard, it’s no use to try to break into the Redbox of infinite capacity – as it turns out, this is the prototype machine for use on the mean streets of St. Louis (look it up - statistically one of the most dangerous cities in the USA!) and so it is also is the Redbox with infinite armor. The bottom line is that you can only have one movie. Well, I guess since I brought Redbox and the concept of DVDs into this little thought experiment, you can actually have any one DVD. It can’t be a made up “super high capacity DVD” or something, but if, for instance, you wanted to have a DVD of your favorite show, you could have that – but just one DVD, so you could only watch the same 6 or 7 episodes over and over and over!!!
Now that we’ve replaced the ridiculous crazed-psychopath-with-a-gun situation with a much more plausible deserted-island-with-infinite-and-invincible-Redbox scenario, we get down to the crux of the matter – if you could watch only one movie (or DVD) for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
Well, I realize that everyone has his own cinematic favorites, but this is a much different question than simply “what are your favorite movies,” or even “what is your one favorite movie of all time?” Granted, the one movie you might choose could be your favorite movie, but I would ask that you try to think if your favorite movie would still be as good if you watched it all the time. Does it have any annoying parts? Would those annoying parts be tolerable the 1000th time you watched? Is it a comedy? I’m not sure at what point it would happen, but I’m certain the humor eventually wears off after watching Johnny Knoxville get kicked in the nuts so many times (I’m guessing around 300). Even if you are a die-hard fan of Deep Throat, could you really stomach (haha) having that as the only movie to watch?
I asked some people at work, and I got a few good answers: Pretty Woman and Gone with the Wind. Of course, these answers are wrong. The correct choice (The careful reader may note that earlier I referenced how everyone has his own cinematic favorites, but that is irrelevant. Here at The Billy Blog, we do things the right way; there is one correct answer, and that’s just how it is.) is The Godfather.
Was there any doubt?
So why is The Godfather the correct choice? It's perfect in every way! It has drama, intrigue, murder, Brando, Pacino, severed horse heads, deceit, gunfire, and nudity! The score is so good that I could just leave it on in the background to keep me company (which I've done before!), and it even has a recipe for pasta sauce! (you know, for all those times you'll be making pasta sauce while you're trapped on the deserted tropical island)
How to make pasta sauce, according to The Godfather
Let's face it, The Godfather could keep you company for years. If only there were sofas and beer on that cargo boat. . .
OK, ok, I'll tolerate a little dissent. Which movie would you choose? I demand reasons why you don't agree with me!!